sorry

My feeling has not been good, so I don't wanna upload this blog.
After calming down, I will type again.

See you then :)

Hey, everyone! I've done to take exam for being University officer. But it was too difficult for me. I couldn't find out the all answers and I felt really tired, but I did my best. The writing topic was "What are you thinking about job? and also write what do you want to do if you be a university officer." I was thinking about thinking, then I started to write my opinion.

One of my opinion for this writing exam is that always thinking goal. I think we should work with some gaols which we decided. Then, we can work well and we can have sense of accomplishment after we've done something. I am thinking one thinking for great achievement with being University officer. I want to tell other countries' people what about university that I took. This university has great system for leaning medical treatment. If there are foreigners who want to learn it and also are interested in Japanese, they should come Japan. For this, I want a lot of people to know this university, so I want to spread this university all over the world if I could be University officer.

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OMG

I really need to study, so I think I can't upload this website a lot until end of December. I wanted to up load a lot, but I don't have time to think about this. I can write this diary for just 5 or 10 minutes, but I also need to that time for study math and Japanese. I can't think about other things.

Anyway, the most important day for me in this year is December 4th. I have to take exams for being university officer. I'm not sure if I can pass because there are lot of men or women who want to be it and only 2 or 3 people can pass. But I do study and study, then I will have more confidence than other people. I know that I can do it. I have experience what I lost when I took exam for being exchange student at first time. It was really really painful and I was really really sad. I don't want to feel like that anymore, so I do my best until taking exam. O

Please pray for me, everyone :)
Love you!!!!

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Change

I didn't like my old style, but I need to return old. I think it will be suitable for you :)
I was thinking a lot and I tried a lot, but everything was failed, so I don't have to think about a lot of things. I don't want to :)
Even if I get the great idea, it was refused. It is really sad and my feeling is terrible. I was considering what I can do and what should I do, but no more need. Just going only my way. No matter what happens. I don't mind even if something bad come up. I am making up my mind. I was trying change..... But never change more.

Anyway, I will spend great time in here and with great friends ;) I have a lot of appointments with them, so I am really looking forward to it. I think I will hang out on Christmas eve!!!! I am really happy that I can hang out on that day :) I think we will have drink and great party :) Also, I think end of December, I will have party with friends who went to NZ as an Exchange students <3 I will do my best on working for these things <3

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hey

I really don't know what should I write today, so I will think more and I will type this after finish working.

See ya.

Try Try Try

I finished doing homework!!! It was really hard to me. I think this homework was harder than one which was given in New Zealand. I used 4 papers for this homework. I always thought Unitec's homework was really difficult, but I could know that it was really easy. I think because I was grown in New Zealand, so I feel Unitec's homework is so easy. I guess that my English skill is getting better than before. It is always growing. I don't want my English skill to be poor, so I try to a lot of thing for keeping my English skill. For example, I always watch CNN expect the time when I studying English. Also, I study English everyday, watch movie everyday, speak English with other countries' people. This is most interesting example what talking by myself in English. I talk myself in English in my car. I think some people think crazy, but this way absolutely help to getting my speaking skill.

Why I am studying and keeping my English skill? It is easy question, It is for me. Not for other people, not for my boyfriend and family and friends!!! It is for me. I will try and try even if I feel like giving up. Need be strong.... Yeah, I do.

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I need...

I said I never change, but I think I should change. Today, I wanna talk about what I did think, but it is very very difficult topic, I think, so I don't know if I can tell readers what I want to say. I wanna use in Japanese if I can, but I will try to use English.

I didn't like the person who just do one thing and can't do a lot of things at the same time because I can. When I needed to take exam for being exchange student, I had a lot of part time job because I had to save my money for going abroad. I was working and working, but same the time I had to study. I didn't have enough score of TOEFL. My first score was 410. Yeah, I know it is really poor score. I needed to get near 500 score for being exchange student. I thought should I give up. I was thinking and thinking, finally I found the answer. It is no matter if I do study harder than before. Then, my working and studying life was started. I worked and studied even if I was really sick. (had 38.9°) I tried and tried, then I got 480 score. I know a lot of readers think it is not high score, but it was really high score for me. I could achieve.

I can do like this, so I really didn't like the person who can't. However, I was thinking about that. I can, but some people might cannot because they are not me. I mean I noticed that I shouldn't think everyone can do same things with me. I am I, other people is other people. We have a lot of different things and different characters. I should have thought about that. I didn't think about other people and I was thinking that people can do if I can. I was really selfish. I always thought why he/she can't think about other persons. But it is meaning about me.

Yeah, I need to change. I do.

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Never

These days, my life is really really boring. Just study and study and study... I wanna return New Zealand because I just could study.

But I know I cant return, so I am doing my best for my Japanese life. I decided to study more and more even if I am busy because of job. When I was in New Zealand, I was studying a lot of course, but I think I am studying more. Every morning, I study Japanese. Then I watch CNN in the Internet with great lunch. After that I start to study English for TOEIC. I have part-time job everyday, so I go it and after go back Home, do study again. I am busy... But I don't want to say that. If I say that, I feel that I loose. And also I don't like the person who says I'm busy, so I can't because it is no matter for me or other friends. (But it is okay if he/she refused sometimes need). I have to do a lot of things, but I never say I can't and I never say I can do just one thing... I can do if I try and do my best. I'm effort on Study, writing blog, job and housework.

My life is really boring, but it will bring happiness in the future. I believe it because it will come. I think of my life. I don't think of other people.

I NEVER change my mind. I don't care what happen if it is not for me. I will be winner... NEVER be looser....

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I hope....

Today, I am very very tired and actually I don't want to type daiary....because I don't want to do anything, but I am trying to write...just because I want to upload everyday.

I want to write something, but I don't have any interesting matter...So what should I write?
OK...I will talk about one of my friends who is in England.

She has stayed England as an exchange student. She asked me if I have boyfriend in other country, so I answered I haven't. She was worring something, so I could realize that she has boyfriend in England. I asked about that, she said yes. She was worring about that because it is far away from Japan, so she doesn't know if she can keep with him after go back Japan. She has great plan in the future. She want to dream come true, but she also want to keep. Therefore, she is cosidering to a lot of things. I think it is no matter how far or close and what will happen. The most important thing is loving each other and thinking each other.
I hope they can keep great time.

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Homework

I'm taking Movie English Class and it gave us homework. But it is very very difficult. I didn't imagine that I have to do difficult homework like this. I think this homework is more difficult than one which I did in New Zealand. I want everyone to know my homework, so I will talk about that today.

There are 8 questions in paper. I want to tell every question, but I don't have enough time to tell, so I introduce 2 questions.

1. In the movie, "The Truman Show" we are shown people who spend almost all of their time watching Truman's life on television.

Q: Do you think the people watching "The Truman Show" on television re living lives that are more or less "real" than Truman's life inside the Omnicam studio? Explain.

2. In "The Truman Show" Christof was asked why he thought Truman had never come close to discovering the truth about his world. He responded that "We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented." This is one of the most important ideas of the story. Although the world he lived in was clearly fake, Truman believed it was real because it was the only world he knew.

Q: In our own world, what are some examples of how reality can be manufactures by others? How can we know if something is "real" or "fake?"

These questions are one of my homework. It is really hard for me. But I went to New Zealand as an exchange student, so I want to improve my English skill on this paper.

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Have you?

Have you ever watched "Into the Wild"?

I watched this movie at class. I hadn't heard about this before I take this class and hadn't been interested in that, so when I started to watch this, I couldn't concentrate on this and also I thought, it is too difficult movie, so I didn't want to watch.... However, I was getting like a little by little. When it closed to end, I really wanted to know the end.

Chris who is main character of this movie was child of rich parents. His family hadn't difficulty for money. They could buy anything if they want. Chris was graduated with great mark in University, so his life was promised what being elite. However, he decided to go somewhere and live without authority and money, family.... He throw the all things expect himself. He went around everywhere and he met a lot of persons. He always told to everyone that his dream was going to Alaska. He got ready for that and some time he worked and got money. Everyday, he dreamed going Alaska. While he was traveling, he tried to contact his family once, but he couldn't because of a reason. He kept going Alaska and finally, he could go there and he found magic bus. He started to living there, but......................

If you are interested in this movie and also if you can't find something to do these days, you should watch. You can get some ideas from this movie...I did. I learned a lot of things, then I thought I should spend time with my way.

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My friends from NZ

Today, I talked to my friends from NZ. I hadn't talked for long time, so I have a lot of topics that I wanted to tell them.

One of my friends who is Korean was my best friend in New Zealand and still she is. I really wanted to ask her about her boyfriend, but I hadn't had time to talk to her. But finally, we could talk and I got chance to ask her. I asked about that, and she answered. She sounds very very happy!!! Also, she asked me my ex-boyfriend and Hiro. I answered and I told what we were happened. I was really happy when I could talk about this because I really wanted to talk about that to her. She said me she is happy now, so I relieved about that. She has some problems, so I think I will talk again. She need to talk, so I will listen because I am her Japanese best friend ever.kkk

Other friend who talked me on facebook said me she is going to come Japan next Summer, so we promised that we will meet then. She is Chinese and very very kind for me. Her smile is wonderful. It helped me a lot when I was in Japan. She really likes Japanese animation, so she knows about that more than me. She asked me about that a lot but I couldn't answer even if I am Japanese, so she finally said m, "you don't have to know this, you are not interested in animation and you are not Otaku. It is mean I am Otaku". This saying makes me happy.... I really love her!!! Her friend are going to go Kyoto University, so we talked about Kyoto. We both like to visit there, so someday we will go together. I think it would be nice!!!!!!

I'm really looking forward to meet a lot of friends in the future. I need to go Poland, Korea, Venezuela and America. (One of my American friends talked me yesterday, then he said I must go U.S again. So I will.) I think I need a lot of money, so I have to work.. I do my best for near my future :) if I think of meeting a lot of my friends, I can do it all of things!!!

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:)

A couple who know me had problems because of different thinking for "Couple". They were talking on skype at my house. I didn't want to listen because it is their problem, so I was washing my car, dishes and so on. After 1 hour, I checked them, but they are still talking. I didn't have something to do...so I was just waiting. Finally, they finished talking. Then she had to go school, so I took her to station. During the driving, I asked her what did they talk about. She answered, she broke up with him. I wasn't surprised because I listened their problems from both of them. She said me she can't change her thinking for being together, and he also can't, so I think they are right what they finished their relationship. If I have to be patient front of my boyfriend, I really don't like and I might think that why I have to be so. Being patient is sometimes very very important, but sometimes not need. I can't understand that couple always has to be patient if someone said so. I will choose breaking up with boyfriend if I have to be patient. Actually I have reliefed that they broke up because I wanted them to do so. That why I hoped so is that they were look not happy. Anyway, I think this problems solved..... I hope so....

Okay, change the topics!
I really happy now because I have gotten the Nickelback's DVD which I wrote yesterday. Now, I'm watching, but they are soooo cool!!! I really wanna go their live!!!! I think I can spend great time with this DVD for few days. They are ROCK group, but not hard rock, so I can be relax!!
OMG.... I love you, Hey, Nickelback <3

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Sorry

I couldn't write diary even if I said I will. I had to pick my friend, Manami, up from Kumamoto City, so I had to go there after finished working. I arrived at there at about 11:20pm and I really wanted to go back home as soon as possible. However, one of my friends who is older than me called me and told me that come to the restaurant, I considered to go or not, but I couldn't refuse, so I decided to go there. There were some friends who know about my ex-boyfriend, so they asked me about that again and again... Actually, I really got tired because of that. I really didn't wanna answer, so I just said.. I can't. I don't know if they could understand my feeling, but I was almost cry. Manami noticed my feeling, so she helped me.

Anyway, do you know Nickelback? I really love this group because they are so cool especially, Vocal's voice. They are not famous in Japan, but it is not for US and EU. They are very very famous there. A lot of girls don't like rock, but I do. When I watch their live, my feeling is getting excited. Yesterday, I had argument with my mom, so I had been stressful. I really didn't wanna do anything, so just I was using Internet and looking amazon. Then I looked Nickelback's DVDs. I always wanted to buy DVD, but I always hesitated to buy. Just thinking and thinking..... And yesterday also......... Finally, I decided to buy. I picked up 2 DVDs and I bought them.

Now, I am really looking forward to get them. I go out to see the post every morning due to that.

Having fun is the most important thing for living happier :)

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Decided!

I decided to write diary as possible as I can.

When I was second grade at University, I had to write blog with 10000 words, so I try to write more than 10000 words.

I really want to write now, but I have to get ready for working, so Ill write again :)

see you soon :)

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.....

Ive been tired to think about a lot of things....
I can't find a good solution... Hey, god, Plz tell me what should I do now?

Time has passed even if I havent done anything... So I should find something that good way...
I need think about that a lot. Tomorrow, Im gonna meet some friends, so I can talk to them. I might be able to get good opinions.

I do enjoy tomorrow, by the way.

Long time no see

I want to say complain to someone, but I cant. So I will write here. Sorry if I make readers feel bad. But this place is my state where I can say what I am thinking exactly. If you don't want to be bad feeling please don't read :)

First of all, I dont want to think about a lot of things! I always think I really liked New Zealand life because I just think of English and "What I can do for enjoying". But I couldn't notice when I was in New Zealand. I thought I think I don't like New Zealand lif because I was thinking it was so boring life. But now, I really think it was so excited. Nowadays, I have to think of a lot of thinks like family, gramma, job hunting, part time job..... I know everyone has stress and everyone also think a lot of thinks. I just wanted to tell my feeling. I just wanted to say some thing. I know... Everyone has same. But I don't here anymore. It is annoying me. What's more, don't say lie. Im tired to change my schdule. You know, I am so busy. So I really don't want to change my schdule. I wanna hanging out friends at night. I don't want to study anymore. I want someone to support me.

Someone asked me what is your problem. However, I don't know so I have a hard. I don't know what should I do. Just I know that I should study more. I don't to lose anyone. Im sure I will lose someone on score, but I never lose myself. No matter how people think. I don't need anything until I win.
I will be patient. I need to be strong.

I dont know

Im tired

I don't know what should I believe.

heeey

Im hangy now. I need to make something to eat, but I have to do other things too...How can I do?
I really wanna know TOEIC's score. I always worry about that. I hope I could get great score, but I am not sure. Im regretting that I didn't study a lot in New Zealad. I know it is no meaning for me to do it, so I wanna stop thinking about that, then Im gonna think how can I change from now. I need to study more, so I do. I don't want to be like people who just say something...Just say, not do it. First, Im going to study, and also I do find job at same times! I really wanna find good job util December, so I do my best. I know..... I believe that I can do it.....
So please root for me if I haven't enough power.

Really wanna....

I heard what my friends who are in New Zealand have party tomorrow, but I really wanna go!!!
I really want to return New Zealand life.... because I can meet Hiro and other friends everyday!!!
There is one or two problems in Japan..... I can't use English a lot... so I am forgetting.... I don't wanna forget... so sometimes studying!kkk What's more, it is very very hot in Japan.... I almost die. I can't eat foods and I feel sick.... I want winter to come as soon as possible.

Anyway, I have a student who haven't gone school.
But he has strong dream. When I knew that, I thought I should have dream like him....
My dream was going to abroad for study, but it came true. I don't know my next dream...
I gonna find good dream during my life!

The Sickness

I don't need any food, I don't wanna eat. If I eat, my feeling will be very very bad.

Anyway, I have to student house and other part time job, so I have to go outside... I wish I don't have to go and I wish I could stay my room all say, but....... I don't know this feeling. So I seem to be more more confused. What should I do? Just, my weight is losing..... it is not healthful.. I cant control my feeling by myself. I want to control and I don't want you to get bored, but. I think I am weird girl. I need to change.... I have to.....

Yaki-Niku

Day before yesterday, I went to Yakiniku party with my friends!!

I was really looking forward to that day because I hadn't met them so long time!!!
The party started at 7pm, and we ate and drunk a lot. Of course we enjoyed talking! We told to our life which was spent in other country. All my friends who was exchange students had great time in there. One of my friend asked me about boyfriend... So I said my next boyfriend is really really nice guy... BUT, my friends didn't believe me and just said...."We cant believe that your good man! because you always say that, but actually they were little....." I noticed that I had loved a little strange men. But this time is really nice! I think this is strange situation for me....KKK

Decided!

I decided to write diary in English again. I haven't written diary in English so long time, so I am not sure if I can write well or not, but I do my best. And also, I don't know if I have much time to write because I might be busy... I need to find job and I should study more.

Anyway, my part-time job start today. I really don't wanna start..... but I should because I don't have money....KKK I spent a lot of money in my New Zealand life and I really want to go around in Japan. So I want to save my money and next year, I will go a lot of place :)

My dream, being English teacher, is quite difficult for me. I don't want to give up, but I am thinking to give up once, then I work at company before being teacher. After saving money I am going to teach English at home....... Is it great idea? I don't know it is, but I believe that it is best way for me :)